Projectile magnet

April 21st, 2003 § Five comments

If you are one of the many people who have not thrown anything at me recently, let me take this opportunity to thank you for your kindness.

If, however, you are the sullen young man who tried to drop a water balloon on my head in the Haight a few weekends ago, or the guy who hurled a handful of change at my head in Santa Cruz on Sunday, or the person who threw a lit firecracker in my general direction in Sunnyvale tonight, I have a question: Why me? Am I just having a run of bad luck, or am I doing something that causes total strangers to lash out at me?

Five comments

  • C-dawg says:

    You just can’t help it that you are so “attractive.” I, for one, am jealous. You are attracting the basic elements of fire and water, AND you are a magnet for money? I don’t think you should be complaining! ;)

  • sweetie says:

    I think that Sesame Street instructs the members of communities starting with the letter “S” to hurl objects of the 5 elements at persons with names starting with the letter “J”. Heck, so far my brother, Jason, has had flames, smoke and highly pressurized water flung in his general direction by the people of Soquel and Santa Cruz. No doubt he can’t just wait for the money thing.

  • M-Dawgy says:

    Good thing you’re moving to Berkley.

  • Jeff says:

    Christie: I suppose I should brace myself for the coming onslaught of dirt clods and tornadoes, then. I would be much more excited about the money if they were throwing $100 bills instead of pennies and dimes.
    Mary: Your theory is nothing short of brilliant. I would point out, though, that Jason already gets money thrown at him (well, into his bank account, anyway) in exchange for putting up with the flames and smoke. As for the highly pressurized water, maybe he should tell his coworkers to learn how to aim their damn firehoses.

  • But what if someone had been able to explain it? Are you sure you’d have wanted to hear that explanation? It might be life-altering. One false move, and you’re in the Tim Powers universe.

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