Today is my twenty-fifth birthday. I am old, old, old. A quarter of a century old. Man, that is old.
Now that I’m not in my early twenties any more, I need to find ways to preserve my rapidly-dwindling youthful vigor for as long as possible. My ideas so far:
- Sleep in a vat of formaldehyde
- Read fewer books about city planning and more issues of Teen People
- Part my hair behind
- Dare to eat a peach
the blood of newborn babiescarrot juice
Any other suggestions?