Do you suppose that Jonathan Safran Foer refers to his clothes as “Safran threads”?
July 26th, 2004 § Comments off § permalink
July 11th, 2004 § Comments off § permalink
Today’s New York Times includes a marriage announcement for Mr. Peter Alternative. I guess it would have been inappropriate to just name him “Lesbianism.”
July 1st, 2004 § Comments off § permalink
Overheard earlier: “Are you sure she was stoned and not just post-orgasmic?”
If you liked The Grey Album–a mashup of Jay-Z’s Black Album and the Beatles’ White Album–you should definitely check out The Slack Album, which combines Jay-Z with Pavement’s Slanted and Enchanted. Super-cool stuff.
Incidentally, when The Grey Album came out, I was delighted to learn that Jay-Z also calls himself “Hov’,” which has a rather different meaning in transportation circles. That discovery led me to rewrite some of the lyrics to Jay-Z’s “Public Service Announcement“:
My name is HOV, H to the O V
I drive cars with high occupancy
I guess even back then you could call me
So concerned with air quality. HOV!
I could probably be a bigger dork than I am, but I’m not sure how.
Q. Why did the Indian restaurant get kicked out of the residential neighborhood?
A. Because it was a naan-conforming use.
(If you’re confused, read this. If you’re not amused, clearly you have better taste than me.)
January 6th, 2004 § Comments off § permalink
Apple’s new slogan for its iLife suite—which includes software for creating DVDs, music, and photo libraries—is “It’s like Microsoft Office for the rest of your life.” I cannot think of a worse fate.
November 25th, 2003 § Comments off § permalink
One of my brother’s friends is applying for a job as an animal care technician. I asked her if that meant she would be inventing new cyborg animals, like a helifrog or a pelicanoceros. Sadly, it does not.
So did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist who got off on a technicality?
Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.
I have seen her dancing. Forget, therefore, about blandishments!