Reading on a hell of a feeling

November 25th, 2002 § One comment § permalink

Prangstgrüp is a bunch of wacky kids at Columbia University who perpetrate goofy stunts on an unsuspecting public. Like, for example, performing a musical in a library. This is probably one of the ten funniest things I have ever seen.

Why I love my Mac

November 3rd, 2002 § One comment § permalink

(That’s my brother on the left and me on the right.)

Why I am not a diplomat

October 19th, 2002 § Two comments § permalink

The United Nations would probably be more popular if it portrayed itself as a bunch of lovable screw-ups who always save the day at the last minute. You know, kind of like the cops from Car 54, Where Are You? The U.N. could even adapt the show’s theme song:

There’s a tyrant in Iraq
North Korea’s got the bomb
Hamid Karzai sees resurgences of radical Islam
Dubya’s theories are unsound
Cheney’s hiding underground
Kofi Annan, where are you?

Spam milestone

August 5th, 2002 § One comment § permalink

I received my very first Nigerian scam email today. I’m so proud.

It happen my father starch away $64m USD and
as am telling you this now, please don’t disclose it
to any person and if you know you cannot keep secret
just forget this transaction, this money is in a
security company in EUROPE… if you are ready to assist me you must
come down to EUROPE your family background must be a
family that have name to respect or mentain, and in
your business you must be a successful person, you
must tell me whom you are because I don’t want to fall
into a wrong person and I will give you 20% after the
money enter into your account and collect my own.

With a highly professional sales pitch like that, how could any scam fail?

You’re better than ice cream

July 29th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Too many posts about politics make the baby Jesus cry. It’s time to bring in the I Love You Kitten.

Ever onward! Ever onward!

July 26th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Sometimes my company’s executives annoy me. Okay, sometimes they really piss me off. I’ll say this much, though: Nobody has ever forced me to sing songs praising their merits as business leaders and human beings. If only IBM employees in the 1930s had been so lucky.

Here’s an excerpt from a song praising the glories of some random vice-president:

Your great knowledge, efforts untiring
Guide us safely each day,
Every act is to us inspiring
We believe all that you say.

Of course, things were different in 1931, yadda yadda yadda, but damn. I prefer not to believe that people were ever that credulous.

Ye sons of France, awake to glory

July 9th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

There’s only four shopping days left before Bastille Day. I went to Hallmark and bought a charming diorama of miniature peasants storming a tiny tower. No doubt you’ll want to pick one up for yourself—unless you’d prefer an “Embrassez-moi, je suis français!” T-shirt, or one of the tricolor beers they serve in all the American bistros on July 14.

Jeff Williams is…

June 30th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

I stole this idea from my brother, who in turn stole it from someone else. But it’s far too brilliant not to steal.

Jeff Williams is…

Jeff Williams is obviously one of the most important contributors, him and Karl Auerback.

Mr. Jeff Williams is a Teenager.

Jeff Williams is 30 years old.

Jeff Williams is attempting to forge in the smithy of his soul the uncreated consciousness of all people.

Jeff Williams is one of the people who have been with Expression from the beginning.

Jeff Williams is the only person barred from sending to the list.

Jeff Williams is a multi-instrumentalist whose virtuosity has acclaimed him international appeal.

Jeff Williams is free to express that sorrow in the most literal sense, because he will not be charged with any crime, even though it was his gun that was used by his son.

Jeff Williams is recognized by current President Craig McCurry as a Distinguished President.

Jeff Williams is ready to be activated from the DL!

Jeff Williams is lying.

You may understand this all too well

June 11th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Click to add title.

They Fight Crime!

June 1st, 2002 § One comment § permalink

He’s a maverick shark-wrestling farmboy who hangs with the wrong crowd. She’s a wealthy red-headed archaeologist with a knack for trouble.

They fight crime!

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