Guest editorial by Method Man

May 16th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

The latest “Please renew your subscription” letter from Harper’s editor Lewis Lapham includes the following line right after the signature:

LHL: rza

Which totally impresses me, because far too few of America’s magazines employ members of the Wu-Tang Clan as secretaries.

It’s peanut butter jelly time!

April 30th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

More Flash weirdness. If watching pointless Flash movies is wrong, I don’t ever want to be right.

Blobby goodness

April 26th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Ready to get your weekend off to a cheerful start? Mr. Nice can help.

For those who won’t settle for less

April 18th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Today’s mail included an offer for a free issue of Robb Report, which purports to be “the unquestioned authority on the luxury lifestyle, covering every angle of affluence.” But wait, there’s more:

No wonder ROBB REPORT is the “must-read” of the successful individuals. After all, where else can you learn about $980 shots of Scotch in Manhattan? Buffalo horn eyewear? What’s hot in luxury bedding? And what $5 million buys on the housing market in Aspen vs. Rancho Santa Fe?

Boy, do they have me pegged.

Justification for those philosophy classes

April 12th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Sure, you’ve heard of Pascal’s Wager, but are you familiar with Pascal’s Wagering?

In a short time, word spread around Paris that Pascal was the thinker to beat at that year’s World Cup of Philosophy. His rooms were always comped. His purse overflowed with all-you-can-eat coupons. His credit was good in the casinos and in the shops. He could get excellent, same-day seats for ‘Groupe Bleu d’Homme.’

I can’t believe it took me this long to find out about The Morning News.

Like the man says

February 21st, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

You’re the man now, dog!

Forgive me. I’m a bit punchy.

learn to sexy dance overnight! 8044

February 18th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

from: t3j383e7@figomrrz.net

with instant access. step by step instructions are included. you must try this.

you’ll love it. simple! this is not a pyramid scheme.

Do something nice for somebody else

February 13th, 2002 § Two comments § permalink

My new personal theme song is “Do You Want to Feel Happy?” by Janeen Brady, from the album I’m a Mormon.

Janeen Brady – Do You Want To Feel Happy

If you do, in fact, want to feel happy, the song advises you to do the following:

Do something nice for somebody else
That’s what Jesus did
Don’t be afraid, it won’t hurt you to try it

As my brother astutely pointed out, “Didn’t it hurt Jesus a lot?”

Implementing e-business solutions

February 10th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Silicon Valley business-speak might become more enjoyable if people started using it euphemistically. Imagine the following sentences being uttered in America’s bars and nightclubs:

Wanna leverage some key strategic alliances?

I couldn’t help noticing that you were checking out my innovative, integrated, multi-channel base offering.

I’d like to rationalize your operations as we drive towards profitability.

Meme ahoy

February 9th, 2002 § Comments off § permalink

Some Googlewhacks:

Jainist zither
comedogenic politico
pentagonal bumbershoot

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